Dear High School Parents and New ISB Students,
Whether this will be your first time in Beijing or a return to a city you have lived in before, making a transition is difficult even when it is a happy one. Perhaps you are a person who enjoys change and you are looking forward to a new situation. Maybe you are a person who groans at the thought of 'settling in' and having to make new friends. Either way, you're bound to feel a little 'out of it' in the beginning...any way you are feeling is normal and all a part of the process! We know that this year may be an especially hard time to transition as life has been disrupted all over the globe, and that so many things remain unknown and uncertain.
With that in mind, here are some tips to help you know what to expect and also some suggestions for dealing with those days when you wonder, "What am I doing here anyway?"
You're changing. You are in for a big change! However, it’s important to consider that you are continuously changing wherever you are! Your identity is always evolving over time, with every move, every new experience. Give yourself time to adjust here, whether it is your first time in Beijing or at ISB or you are a returning student. Who you are at the end of the next school year will be different from who you are when you started. Change is the one constant we can rely on, so try to get as friendly with change as you can.
Say goodbye to those you are close to. This may look very different from how you may want to say goodbye right now. So if in-person isn’t an option, make sure to email or Zoom or send them a letter. Being able to say goodbye, even in the digital age when we feel that we are connected all the time to everyone, will help you transition successfully. And speaking of staying connected, make sure you know how to reach the important people in your life—friends, teachers, coaches—so that you can be sure that you can stay connected. Being able to reach out, especially as you transition to a new country, city, school and community can be very grounding as you strive to make new connections. Saying goodbye can be painful, but it is an important part of the process.
Take care of unfinished business before you leave. Make a list of things you need to do. Such lists might include returning a toy or piece of clothing, returning a borrowed book, or following through on a promise you made. On another level, a “Things To Do” plan might include resolving a problem with a teacher or classmate, apologizing for hurting someone's feelings, or saying thank you to someone who was helpful in the past. Tying up these loose ends in your life is sort of like cleaning out a locker or desk before moving on to a new grade.
Take time to reflect about leaving. What things have you enjoyed and what pieces of your experience do you want to take with you? What has been difficult? How do you feel about leaving - sad, happy, mixed? Take time to sort out some of those feelings with someone you trust and who listens well.
Take time to examine your expectations of Beijing. Is it a place you consider “home” or brand new? Are you expecting things to be the same? Completely different? Is there a new language? New culture? What have you learned in past moves to make this move easier? What special things could you be sure to bring with you that help you feel “at home?” Is it a place that has been familiar in the past?
Take time to balance. Transition isn’t all good or all bad (although it can be a lot of both). Expect some of both. Try to be open to a new adventure and experience. Assume that good things await and that stressful feelings will pass in time. Make sure you take time to relax and do things that you enjoy - it's important to leave plenty of time for this!
Take time to talk to your family. They've shared your experiences, and this can be a natural time to draw closer together. Chances are that they will share a lot of your feelings. Also, you need some support to help you manage - we all do. Your family is a great place to start. Realize that your parents have their own feelings about the move. Listen as well as talk.
Transitioning to ISB
- Make sure you attend the ISB Orientations! Meeting other new students, getting to know the school and its expectations, being able to visually see where you’ll be having lunch and where your classes are will help you make a positive transition and can really help ease anxiety and first-day jitters!
- Get Involved. Decide what extracurricular activities you enjoy and get involved in one or two. It's a great way to make friends who have the same interests. While ISB is a very welcoming place, it's not always likely that you will find someone to invite you to get involved — SO TAKE A RISK and go to the first meeting on your own.
- Connect. Look for a person you would like to know, and then take the initiative with that person. Use the fact that you don't know things to make contact with people. Ask all kinds of questions — it’s an easy conversation starter!
- Get Support. There are so many people at ISB who are here to support you through this process—counselors, Peer Helpers, teachers, coaches—and that is just for a start. Don't demand or expect too much from yourself right away — be as kind and gentle to yourself as you can be. This will help you keep your stress in check! Feeling alone or a bit lost is an incredibly uncomfortable feeling but know that this will pass, and we have so many people and systems in place to help you integrate into our community. Accept help when people offer it and ask for it when you need it! We’ve got you!
Best wishes for an easy transition from your friendly ISB Counselors! We are here for you!